Our Inner Sun

Have you ever felt like the sun shines inside of you? There's a warmth and joy to it... a silent fulfillment. I noticed it the other day when I was busy with some hamster-wheel kind of thinking, and someone called out of the blue, asking for help.

I felt like the sun suddenly rose inside my heart and lit up the whole room.

But that feeling kept a thread... and I started to investigate: When did I feel like it last? When did I feel like it first? I recalled a few moments in the past, they were all about a sudden unexpected happiness. Winding time further back it hit me: hang on a minute, children are like this! Babies, young children, animals: they have a causless happiness. A natural, shining joy of life. How do we give it up? Where does it go? Seems like a distant past? Maybe out of reach?

In a recent interview* with Gabor Maté he mentioned that around the age of 45 humans have a natural reflection on their life, looking back, wondering how did they end up where they are, and often set back finding out that it didn't go to the direction they wanted to. I see a similar reflection among people at an earlier stage. Could this be an unexpected blessing of our fast-paced world, that we get there 10 years earlier? I would like to think so...

Reflecting back on ourselves is very healthy in various ways. As long as we don't make it a chewing gum that lost its taste... not something like a social media feed - to infinitely scroll... Reflecting on its own is not enough, simply because we tend to weave a story around our memories and continue a narrative. We're conditioned to do so. But there's a kind of reflection when you simply meet yourself. Free from any additional response to what's beeing seen, just seen. Just like the sun shines on a pile of rubbish equally as a freshly blossoming flower. This kind of attention is present: not comparing to a past story, not preparing for a future story, in fact it's so refreshing, so radiating that it does feel like the sun! It melts away tensions, clouds of thoughts, it nourishes in such unexpected ways, I'm loss of words to describe it... and it's everpresent in all of us! We often call it love. 'I loooove doing that.' In fact it's even deeper and beyond doing a something we love. When I experience it fully it feels like it's so vast, it's braking my bones from the inside. The artwork was born out of the first time...

Eli Jaxon-Bear often says to us when we find a face of this inner sun:

"Stay with what you love."

We're not careless children anymore, but we do have the capacity to stay with what we love.

To reconnect with the inner sun we're born with and let it shine.

I wonder what form does it shine in your life? What do you love? What makes you shine, just as you are?

I'm here for you in a sacred support, that's my sunshine.

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*the interview is in Hungarian